Majorité Opprimée (Oppressed Majority) with English subtitles
Q:Follow me please
How am I supposed to follow you if you are anonymous?
Slice of life: I’m living with a violent misogynist.
The other night my roommate came home drunk with a really drunk girl. After they had sex we heard my roommate start screaming at the girl and her crying and trying to stumble out the front door and drive home. I ran outside and stopped the girl from getting in her car. I asked if she would please let me drive her home and promised I’d pick her up in the morning to get her car.
On the way to her house Brooks and I talked to her to understand what had happened and make sure she was alright. She said that the sex was consensual, but then he started yelling and threatened to slap her and she couldn’t remember if he had hit her or not. Brooks and I did hear a crash noise come from his room right after the yelling started, but we didn’t see anything. She kept saying it was her fault and we told her every time that: it was not her fault, she didn’t deserve anyone treating her that way, no one should ever threaten you or hurt you, she wasn’t asking for this to happen because she went home with him, going home with somebody is meant to be a good time, she didn’t know he’d scream and (maybe) hit her, and if he had said “Hey, if you come home with me I’m going to have sex with you, then yell at you about how ugly and bad at sex you are, threaten you, (maybe) hit you, and kick you out with no way to get home safely at 3 am,” she DEFINITELY wouldn’t have gone home with him so it’s not her fault that he misled her, etc.
At her house I helped her clean her face up (to see if she had any marks or bruises), feel her face/arms/legs to see if anything hurt and change into more comfortable clothes.
I asked if she wanted to call the police and file assault charges. She said she couldn’t remember if he hit her or not. I told her that I would remember everything she said the next day and hopefully when she had sobered up she would remember. I stayed with her a little while trying to get her calm, asked if she wanted me to call anyone, put her phone on the charger, and left a cup of water next to the bed. I gave her my phone number and set a time to pick her up. All-in-all I didn’t get to sleep until 6 am.
The next day she still didn’t remember if he had hit her or not. Over the course of the day she developed a little redness on her eyelid (she wasn’t sure if it was because of crying and sleeping in makeup) and a mystery tender bump on the back of her head. I asked her if she wanted to file assault charges, and explained that we could call GPD’s non-emergency line and they would send a deputy to her to talk about what happened, and that Brooks and I would both talk to the officer if she wanted. She has not yet decided to file charges. I told her to photograph her eye and head as clearly as possible and to go to UF’s clinic on Monday to have a doctor check her out and document any injuries she might have. She can’t remember if he used a condom or not so I told her to ask for STD/STI testing as well.
Talking to her when she was sober, I reiterated all of the “This is not your fault” parts. She asked me why I was so nice to her and told me she was so grateful. I told her that everyone deserves kindness and I didn’t want her to get hurt. I asked her to show me how grateful she was by promising (to herself) not to go out and get that drunk if she didn’t have a designated sober friend that she trusted to make sure she didn’t leave with a stranger, not to put herself in this situation again, and if she ever saw another girl in this situation that she would step in and help.
I checked in on her again today and she seems ok and wanting to just move past this. I am very upset that I didn’t step in and stop this all BEFORE anything happened. Brooks and I saw them come in and could tell that they were drunk, but we didn’t realize HOW drunk they were. Rather, how drunk SHE was. We didn’t know that John was this disgusting and violent towards women, but we should have checked up on her. I really regret that and I feel like a shitty person.
I’m going to continue to check up on her, but I was wondering if anyone had thoughts on what else I can do/should have done?
You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)
HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.
Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.
It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.
I will always reblog this. Always.
Text (would be legible on actual shirt):
You have no problem with the gender wage gap. But you hate having to pay for dates.
You insist that it’s a scientifically proven fact that men are stronger than women. But you complain about society believing that it’s worse for a man to hit a woman than for a woman to hit a man.
You believe that the age of consent is unfair and that there’s nothing wrong with having sex with teenage girls. But when you find out that a teenage girl enjoys sex, you believe she’s the biggest slut in the world.
You hate when a woman automatically assumes that a man is a douchebag before getting to know him. But when you like a woman who likes another man, you assume he’s a douchebag just because he’s not you.
You believe that if women want equality, they should be drafted into the military. But you also believe that the military is not a place for women.
You hate when women assume that men are like wild animals. But you believe that a woman who doesn’t cover up and make herself invisible to men is just like someone wearing a meat suit around wild animals.
You hate the fact that men are bullied for not conforming to their male gender roles. But when you find out that a man disagrees with your beliefs about women’s rights, your immediate response is to try to emasculate him by comparing him to a woman as an insult.
You hate when women assume that there are no nice guys. But you call yourself a nice guy and act like it’s a rare quality that should cause women to be all over you.
You hate when women assume that men just want to get laid. But when you find out that a man is a feminist, you assume that he’s just doing it to get laid.
You hate when women make generalizations about all men. But when a woman calls you out for being sexist, you claim that all men think like you.
You insist that women should be responsible for protecting themselves from being raped. But when they follow the one piece of advice that actually works, which is being aware of red flags, you complain about them assuming that all men are rapists.
This is too fantastic.
mental illness is the worst for a lot of reasons but what’s really killing me right now is that today was one of the best days i’ve had in a long time—i took an easy test, watched a show i enjoy, and spent the afternoon hiking around in really pretty scenery with one of my best friends, then we…
At the end good days I have this question of, “Why do I feel so overwhelmed? I had a good day! I wanted to get up and do things earlier, so why did nothing get done except eating and taking care of Perry? I might as well not bother.”
I empathize, but I don’t know what to do about it.
You want weird tv episodes that you’ve never seen before? It’s probably been on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You want a musical episode? Buffy. An episode with no talking at all? Buffy. A good laugh about a demon-hunting dummy? Buffy. What about one where hyena ghosts posses high school students and then go eat their principle? Guess who. Just go watch Buffy you piece of shit.
nothing pisses me off more than a dude who i don’t find attractive, who i wouldn’t even fuck, who isn’t even on my radar to come at me sideways with some advice to tell me how to be more attractive to his standards
you look like a dirty wash rag after cleaning a pot full of pork chop grease like
who gave you the right?
I’m gonna say no to the commentary for two reasons off the top of my head. 1. In many positions going for the outside will put you in the line of fire. It is often not as simple as ducking your head down. People don’t usually stand with their arm fully extended aiming at your face. Consider if in this gif the aggressor was pointing the gun at the guy’s lower left side; moving to the outside would require he move his entire pelvis past the line of fire. If someone puts a gun to your back you shouldn’t turn and look to see which way to go outside the arm, you should immediately turn in the direction of least resistance so as to get your heart out of the line of fire. 2. Not everyone is built like the man in this gif. I’m a 5’2” woman, I could never grab a fully grown man’s arm and wrench him down with one hand. In this same position I would throw my left arm up beneath the aggressor’s arm while ducking down and right, grab the wrist AND GUN from the inside with my left hand and behind his wrist with my right, swing underneath his outstretched arm and throw him in an arm bar (actually a triple break of the wrist, elbow, and shoulder) and disarm him. Most people are usually stronger pulling inward than backward, which is how he would have to free his twisted arm and then I would have his face and ribs in front of me to kick/knee. My point is that you have to work with your own body and against your aggressor’s. Know thyself! My lifelong training has taught me this: 1. Get out of the line of fire. 2. Control the weapon. 3. Disarm the weapon. Maybe eventually I will do some visuals. *edit* PS NEVER RELY SOLELY ON SELF DEFENSE TIPS FROM THE INTERNET! The master of my ryu is a 10th degree black belt who has also taught women’s self defense courses and police courses on the side for as long as I’ve been alive. I trust his variety of knowledge over what I assume is strictly Army training. You need real practice and experience to use self defense techniques. You never know how you will react to a situation until you are faced with it. I hope no one ever has to use these techniques, but practice ahead of time is what would save your life.
Take note: this is how to properly disarm someone. Always go to the outside of the arm, not the inside.
PEOPLE OF TUMBLR-
This is Saber. He’s an 11-month-old rednose Pit Bull with one blue eye and one brown eye. He is a wonderful dog who will cuddle with you and lick your face and sleep on your bed.
And he needs a home.
My roommate and I have been keeping him in our dorm on and off for about a month. My roommate saved him from a shelter at her home in California, where he had pneumonia and would have died had she not helped him. She moved down to Tampa Bay, and when she was admitted to our school, she was told she was only allowed to keep one of her two dogs in the dorm with her. So she gave Saber to a friend.
That friend started beating him.
When the now former friend didn’t want him anymore, a guy who answered a Craigslist ad offered to take him. Only a day after he took Saber in, she got a call from him saying that Saber had chewed up and destroyed a lot of his stuff (there’s still no actual evidence to suggest that he did), and that either she came to get him, and brought money to pay for the ‘damages’, or Saber was going to be dropped at the shelter, where his breed would most likely get him euthanized.
I came with her the night she went to that man’s house. He insisted that we give him $500 or we wouldn’t get him back; essentially, Saber was being held hostage. We watched him throw Saber’s food in the trash can. We had to call the police to get him back to us.
Saber spent three weeks living in our dorm room; and we were lucky that they didn’t find out. Our college’s pet policy forbids more than one pet per student, and we both already have dogs. They also forbid Pit Bulls for insurance reasons (ugh). But my roommate found him a home with a nice couple.
A week later, she got a call, saying that the couple had been arrested (yes really!). The day before, Saber had been neutered, and was not getting the proper pain meds and care he needed. He came back to us that night, much thinner than he’d left.
Saber is living in our dorm room again, and we know it’s only a matter of time before the pet council discovers him. We don’t know what punishment could ensue from that- my roommate could be forbidden from keeping any pets, or both of us could be fined. We know one thing- if the pet council discovers him, we’ll be forced to ‘get rid of him’, which may force us to put him in a shelter, which we really, really don’t want to do. We love him, but it’s not in his- or our- best interest to keep him.
We’ve called just about every animal rescue in the area- a lot of no-kill shelters won’t take Pit Bulls because they’re so much harder to adopt, and many other no-kill shelters, rescues, fosters, etc, are just full, or don’t take owner surrenders. We’re running out of options.
So, Tumblr, we need your help. If you’d like this really amazing and sweet dog to be yours, or if you’re part of a rescue organization that can take him, please send me an ask or email me at email@example.com, and we’ll go forward from there.
Even if you can’t take him for whatever reason (which is okay), please, if you’re seeing this message, please reblog this. We need as many people as possible to see this message, so that he can find the home he’s desperate for.
Thanks for reading.
I don’t want to go to college but I also don’t want to NOT go to college
What I really want is to stop existing but you can’t do that without dying and I don’t want to die either
This is the most accurate post I have ever seen
Q:did they drug test you a second time when you moved to paint?
No. Shit, son, who is this from work?